Another View

The power of gaining a fresh perspective is huge. It can help you:

• change your habits
• learn something new
• find a new opportunity
• change how you feel about something or someone
• develop objectivity

And loads more, so I definitely recommend actively going out there and challenging yourself to look at things differently.

It can be a bit of a shock at times though, to find that there’s a different way of seeing something. Sometimes it can knock you for six when something you have taken for granted as true for a long time, turns out to be less, erm, truthy than you thought.

Word Up

I know someone who is a real stickler for the 'correct' usage of language. She’s brilliant at Scrabble, religiously completes her daily Wordle. 

I didn't mean to but a while ago I winded her. It was pretty uncomfortable, as if I’d physically elbowed her. She had all the air and confidence knocked out.

How did this come about? I challenged the way she thought about something and this consequently changed her perspective. The new way of looking was pretty uncomfortable for her as it challenged a few well established beliefs she had. 

Sounds quite dramatic doesn't it? It was and it wasn’t. I should probably tell you what happened.

Dinner At Eight

It was a regular social event and we were both guests. Food. Wine. Conversation. 

In the general chit chat I mentioned that my daughter is really into rap music and enjoys listening to Stormzy, Trippie Redd and Dave. Oh boy, I shouldn't have bothered. 

"Call that music? Ridiculous. It's like my ears are being tortured. Just noise and shouting. It's one long rant. Rap, spelled with a silent ‘C' in my view."

My fellow guest was reactionary and snobby. She liked her own silent ‘C’ joke a bit too much.

I don't know why but I felt that I had to stick up for my daughter's favourite genre.

"Not with you on that at all. Rap's not exactly my spiritual home, but just take the lyrics. A lot of the lyrics I've heard are borderline genius. The speed of delivery alone is unreal."

"A fine critic you are. It's not exactly Shakespeare is it?"

Her views were firmly fixed about rap being the very definition of anti music. I wasn’t going to change her mind.

Express Yourself

What I thought I'd challenge though was her view of the lyrical gymnastics. Perhaps she would concede that as something to admire. 

No. Not a chance. Part of her complaint about the lyrics was that “silly new words” were used and that our precious language was being "bastardised."

It's an odd thing when people refer to the mastery of Shakespeare when in their next breath they complain about new words being coined.

The bard made up loads of new words. More than you'd think. I've already used at least seven of them writing so far. Seven!

1. Uncomfortable
2. Elbow
3. Unaware
4. Rant
5. Torture
6. Unreal
7. Critic

Sometimes he conjured up words using the Latin or Greek roots to guide him. 

Then other times he just took existing nouns and used them as verbs. Well, why not? Elbow and Torture both already existed but not as verbs. It was Shakespeare who first used them as verbs. Pretty clever new usage right? Very efficient.

When he was being a bit lazier he just added the prefix "un" in front of adjectives, hence uncomfortable, unaware and unreal.

So I mentioned this.

Shake It Off

"Shakespeare made up loads of new words."

"You're comparing rap to Shakespeare now!? That’s ridiculous!"

I wasn’t comparing rap to Shakespeare (and being told I was is a whole other red herring to watch out for) but before I could answer she started going on about rappers using words that weren't in the dictionary and were therefore invalid. As a Scrabble fan she seemed to think she was on pretty firm ground. 

I very rarely get to use what I learned in my English degree, mainly because I didn't learn that much, but here was a chance. I took the opportunity and tossed a grenade.

"That's not what the dictionary is for" I said.

"Yes it is. Without the dictionary we wouldn't know what words are for."

To be fair that's actually what most people think. Considering the dictionary to be a source of words, the authority of what words mean and how they should be used. 

That's the perspective of most people. It was obvious that my fellow guest took this view too.

A Different Corner

I shared a different perspective with her and it was simply this alternative viewpoint and the impact it had that took the wind from her sails. 

"The dictionary isn't where words come from. It's the other way round. The dictionary is a mirror. It reflects the words we use and the meanings we give them."

"What are you talking about?"

"You’re suggesting it’s prescriptive. I’m mansplaining that it’s descriptive. Think of a new word. Something that’s not been around for very long.” I pulled one out of the air. “Like ghosting . . .” 

"Ghost isn't a new word!" she interrupted.

"Sure, but ghosting is. Years ago, when people cut someone off and ignored them we'd have to say "someone has cut me off and is ignoring me" but now can simply say "I'm being ghosted." The word came from society, and the reason the dictionary includes it is to describe what’s going on."

She was completely silent and was staring at me with a glazed look on her face. I didn’t know if she was confused or angry or just had some trapped wind.

I tried again.

"My niece is at Uni and she and her housemates made a Sunday Roast. She said they were adulting. Practicing being adults or doing grown up stuff. Adulting was only added to the dictionary recently. Modern life gave birth to the word adulting. Not the other way round."

"I get it. I get it. You don’t have to go on and on about it." 

There was a really long silence and then she said "But I don't like it."

I felt a bit bad because she was really quiet after that.

Check Yo Self

Looking back I realised how much that simple perspective shift must have hit her.

As a word nerd and Scrabble fan she put her absolute faith in the authority of a dictionary. But it had never occurred to her that the dictionary was taking its cues from elsewhere.

From everywhere else in fact. From the pub. From TV. From the football terraces. From coffee shops. From the streets. Maybe even from, whisper it, rap artists.

As for her claim that ‘without the dictionary we wouldn't know what words are for’, well, that's pretty obviously not true and too easy to dispute. We've only had dictionaries for a few hundred years at most. 

Words on the other hand, have had commonly understood meanings for thousands and thousands of years. Our ancestors managed without a copy of the OED. 

That one perspective shift was huge for my fellow guest. It was only a different way of looking at things, a perspective that’s probably at odds with the usual view, but that can be all it takes to change everything.

She suddenly realised that her belief in the dictionary being the definitive source of word power was quite a weak one. That could have been hard to take. 

It's Hard

It’s hard being wrong. (So I’ve been told anyway.) And having someone else point it out to you can be even harder.

But there’s real value to be gained in finding that there’s a new way of looking at things. So this weekend go out and look at things differently.

• Ask your favourite family member for their opinion
• Ask your friends for their view
• Presume that you’re already wrong
• Do market research
• Ask your least favourite family member for their opinion
• Create a Mastermind group and consider their thoughts
• Get a coach who’ll ask you loads of probing questions and challenge your assumptions
• Read a book that promises answers
• Watch a film you don't expect to like
• Buy a training video in a subject you don't know much about (or think that you do!)

You might not see anything new. It might just entrench your already firm views. That's valid.

If you do, however, find that a new perspective is altering what you previously thought or felt, then don’t be like my fellow guest and fight against it. Embrace the new vantage point and the benefits it could bring.