From Caterpillar to Butterfly: Embracing Personal Transformation

I went to see The Cure recently at Wembley arena. Such a great band and a better live act now than they’ve ever been. They've transformed themselves from a studio band into a formidable live event. I've seen them many times over the years and their stage show is seriously impressive. They soar higher than they ever have. 

And if I’ve never told you about the time I met Cure head honcho Robert Smith while shopping in Tesco then please do yourself a favour and cross the street if you see me coming. 

Cocoon Of Snow

I went to see them a little while ago with my mate Dingle who’s over from New Zealand for Christmas and New Year. The gig was on 11th December. You’ll probably remember the day because that’s when the cold snap announced itself in earnest and heavy snow landed with a thump. 

My patch of Surrey went from being completely naked to firmly ensconced under a thick snowy blanket in just two hours. 

We needed to drive to Wembley so carefully considered the situation. We prepared for all eventualities by packing a blanket and a sharing sized pack of salt and vinegar crisps. 

It was touch and go whether we’d make it. The drive took two and a bit hours, most of which was trying to get out of Reigate’s suddenly snowbound and dangerous exits to the M25. 

Fortune favours the foolhardy and we were rewarded for our efforts, arriving at the arena just four songs into the set.

Always So Lost In The Dark

For the first section of the gig The Cure played a sprinkling of new songs, a bunch of deep cuts and a few lengthy fan favourites. These are not for the casual passerby. After twenty minutes of the hard stuff, as they launched into another heavy hitter, I suggested that we step out of the main area to get a bite eat.

Dingle refused. “No. I’m not going until I’ve heard one I know!”

‘Best dig in then,’ I thought to myself.

I loved every single second of the next hour and fifteen minutes, singing loudly and dancing and dancing and dancing until my fingers ached. 

Dingle enjoyed it too but for him it was seventy five minutes of not knowing a single song!

It was an hour and a quarter of: 

“I liked that one.” 

“I didn’t actually know he played guitar.”

“Jo Brand’s let herself go.”

“What was that one called?”

“Do you think they’ll play Caterpillar Girl soon?”

Never Enough

To that last question I knew that they would play their hits in a pop heavy second encore. After about two hours we’d all be rewarded with a slew of back to back, easy access, chart friendly hits.

And there are more than you’d expect. No honestly! They played Just Like Heaven, Close To Me, Friday I’m In Love, In Between Days and Boys Don’t Cry.

You know all of those right? Or most of them? Come on, admit it, you do.

Dingle did and he was very happy.

But they didn’t play The Caterpillar. That’s not surprising. It’s the band’s 56th choice for live performances according to setlist.fm. 

Even though they didn’t play it, that song somehow became an ohrwurm (or an ohrraupe perhaps?) burrowing into my mind and crawling around for days after the gig. For about the last month in fact. 

The Caterpillar has intermittently been playing in my head, without my permission, for four weeks now. And when something’s on or in my mind like that it shows up everywhere. 

The Surprise Of A Butterfly

Apropos of nothing I’ve spotted loads of merchandise for Eric Carle’s The Hungry Caterpillar, including The Night Before Christmas book. 

I kept noticing a festive ice skating version of Marks and Spencers’ Colin The Caterpillar cake. 

And I seemed to have been continually bombarded by ads for Caterpillar boots too. 

They’re probably always there it’s just that you tend to notice things like this more when your focus is pointing that way.

Then yesterday it happened again. I heard someone on the radio talking about green energy and the fact that we don’t yet know what new green technology will look like. We expect growth and transformation but don't quite know in what form that will happen.

The chap said “What we’re doing now is shoehorning the old technologies into the new systems” because we’re unable to imagine properly what the new will look like.

He stressed the point paraphrasing Buckminster Fuller explaining “there’s nothing about a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.”

Damn butterflies again! But that's a great line. Full of hope, optimism and possibility. A butterfly looks nothing like its previous incarnation. The change a caterpillar undergoes is beyond comprehension, a true metamorphosis that challenges our understanding.

Embrace Personal Growth

And that’s often what can happen for us as individuals during our own inevitable metamorphosis. We change so much from the people we once were. Our journey of transformation means we can, like the butterfly emerging, be unrecognisable from our previous selves. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. But change is always happening.

This unconscious change can be a blessing or a curse. If you accidentally go the right way and you emerge as a magnificent butterfly then that’s a pleasant surprise and you'll be ready to embark on a journey of self awareness.

But if you unwittingly go down the wrong route then it can be quite a shock to come round and find yourself in a place you don’t want to be, with no real idea of how you got there.

We’re always in the process of transformation it’s just that the process is often achingly slow so we’re not aware of it. Does a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly have awareness of the changes it is undergoing? Is it capable of embracing metamorphosis?

For us on our journey of personal development the key is to become aware of it and overtly choose how the transformation begins, understand the power of change and where to guide it.

Your Journey Of Self-Discovery 

This week’s top tip is to ask yourself what has become of the caterpillar you once were? What sort of butterfly are you now?

This weekend take half an hour to review things. Wherever you find yourself in that process stop right where you are. 

Consider where you were ten years ago and where you are now; it’s a journey of personal transformation. Take a look at where you’ve come from and how far you’ve travelled.

What you’ve learned to do and what you’ve forgotten you could be doing. What habits you’ve created for both good and bad.

If you’re feeling pretty pleased with the change that’s great news. Well done for spotting the positive because it’s so easy to just focus on the negative.

Look at what’s gone well and ask yourself how you can double down on that positive improvement. Where else can you create more benefit, embracing change as an opportunity for growth?

Or it might be that you’re not happy with the transformation that’s taken place. Change isn't always pretty. That’s also an opportunity for growth, much like the caterpillar's journey to becoming a butterfly. Realisation is the first step. Now you’ve got a chance to reset the course, change direction and relaunch.  We can take lessons from butterflies. You have an opportunity to take flight, embrace growth and evolution, shed old habits and reach your fullest potential.

The process of transformation doesn’t stop, like the caterpillar in its chrysalis, so you can’t opt out. It’s happening anyway so make sure you harness it and guide the course.

Or maybe you're both pleased and unhappy with the transformation. A bit of both. That's me for sure. Personally, I’m very happy with the learning and up-skilling in certain disciplines I’ve deliberately attempted in the last decade.

However, I’m not so overjoyed with the average 1kg a year that the scales tell me I’ve put on in that time!

It's hard breaking free from old habits that hold you back. So as part of that inner transformation you have to update your choices. Growth often involves sacrifice, and the understanding that we need to let go of old things, in order to be ready to embrace the new world we're emerging into. 

To get ready to fly, ready to soar to new heights even, we need to transcend old ways of thinking and embrace the unknown.

Keep Working On Self-Improvement

But what about the change over a long time. Say thirty years, a long journey of resilience and transformation?

If I think back to that scruffy student who bumped into The Cure’s lead singer in the Bognor Regis branch of Tesco back in 1993 then I’ve got to consider thirty years of transformation. 

In the period from age twenty to fifty a lot has changed. Well, I’m still listening to the same old songs and that’s not going to change, but there’s plenty that has changed and plenty more that will. 

I won’t share any more of my own reflections on the changes from then to now but suffice to say there have been many. Over that time there have been many valuable lessons. Lessons of self-awareness that unlock understanding and inspire us to embrace the new. Lessons that any personal transformation requires. 

Overall it’s the conscious decisions, where I’ve made deliberate positive choices, made with a sense of purpose, that have generated the biggest benefits.

There are so many different stages we go through in life and explore the world. Enjoy considering your next transformation whether you’re at the start, in the middle or nearing the end, and importantly how you can shape the inevitable change and process of personal growth.