Get Back

“The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.” - L.P. Hartley

This week’s Top Tips is an idea that can help you more effectively curate the past, enjoy the memories you want to revisit and avoid the build up of clutter.

This Is A Call

I’ve just watched a programme about Dave Grohl from Nirvana and Foo Fighters looking back at important moments from his life. He’s been described as the nicest guy in rock which I can well believe if this episode of Reel Stories is representative. 

He also came out with a great phrase about looking back - “hindsight is a blurry lens” - which I feel is a helpful idea for making sense of the past.

His gruff vocals and and overwrought guitars in Foo Fighters have never particularly grabbed me but watching clips of a nascent Nirvana make their stratospheric rise was hugely enjoyable. 

Seeing them leaping around on The Word for their first ever TV appearance was like stepping back in time. And watching them go off script delivering a rogue wall of noise on the Jonathan Ross Show was brilliant. For once Jonathan Ross looked lost for words before explaining that it wasn’t the song they were expected to play. He then announced “Ladies and gentlemen, Nirvana. Available for children’s parties and bar mitzvahs” - hilarious!

Sometimes I think I was destined to be nostalgic. At the age of 14 I heard The Who and became immediately nostalgic for a time I'd never experienced. Not sure what that says about me but nostalgia definitely has its place.

Living In A Box

The problem is that nostalgia’s place is often in a box the attic. Or in an overflowing drawer. Or in a plastic bag in the garage. Or in a pile on a shelf somewhere out of view. 

The reason we keep these things is that at one point they meant something to us. We value past experiences that represent a time or experience that we enjoyed. Or that we feel will be important to us as we go forward in life. They can anchor us or act as a touchstone or a reserve of strength or confidence or happiness. Something of value.

But too often they end up as clutter in an inaccessible format and location that means we don’t actually get to revisit them.

If your favourite memory (poster, card, autograph, photo, letter, soft toy, ticket stub, child’s artwork, souvenir programme) is hidden away at the bottom of a box in the dark behind the suitcases at the back of the loft then what’s the point? It’s as if you never kept them anyway. 

If you’re lucky, you might one day come back to them but one of the dangers here is that you won’t actually remember why you saved that piece of paper in the first place. Or you won’t be able to recall the names of the people in the photo. Or where you were when it was taken. Or why you took it!

System Addict

Here’s an idea I’ve been using for a few years now. I’ve put it together over time and it’s still a work in progress but so far so good. 

First. With the item you want to keep write on the back of it details that will help you to remember what it is. Details like:

• Names
• Dates
• Events
• Words
• Feelings
• An anecdote 

Anything that will give you context about what you did and why this thing is important. If you want to keep it pristine add a sticky note to it. Or put it in a clear plastic envelope with an attached note.

This takes time. It’s worth it.

Five Years

Then place it in a box. Not just any box mind, this is a special box. I’d recommend a shoebox. Regular readers will know that for reasons previously explained I have a lot of spare shoeboxes. The current box I’m using is called “Memories 2021”. 

Throughout the year I add stuff to it. Memories of things I’ve done and places I’ve been. To be frank, for obvious pandemic themed reasons there’s really not that much in this year’s box. And in seven years time my Covid vaccination card will hopefully be a distant memory!

Anyway, at the end of the year the box will be full and at that stage, perhaps on 31st December or 1st Jan 2022, I’ll take the next step of the process and simply shove it in the attic.

“Hang on a minute!” I hear you say. “Isn’t that what we’re trying to avoid?”

Well, bear with me. While I’m up there in the attic I’ll reach over a  couple of feet to the box labelled “Memories 2015” and take that downstairs. 

In the evening I’ll pour a glass of wine for myself and my wife and we’ll open the box. This is the fun bit but it also requires some determination and resolve because you can’t keep  everything in the box. You need to effectively filter the contents. 

This stuff is all now seven years old. Enough time needs to have passed in order for you to be able to consider things accurately. Dave Grohl backed up his “hindsight is a blurry lens” with the observation that more time brings clarity.

I’ve found that seven years is about right for me to have enough distance to reflect clearly enough to decide whether the memory is important to keep or not. I tried after five years but it wasn’t really enough. Ten years might be even better though. You’ll know the right amount of time for you.

Too Much Of Anything

The contents of the box usually fit into one of three categories:

1. Stuff I instantly remember, love the memory of and want to keep forever
2. Stuff I have to check what it is and read the details about to properly recall
3. Stuff I look at and think “Why on God’s earth have I kept that?” or “What the heck is that?”

The number 1s I try to do something with that will keep it fresh and actually in my life: 

• I might put into a slowly growing album I keep on a bookshelf downstairs. 
• Or stick in a picture frame and put it out where I can see it. 
• Or display it on a shelf. 
• Or use it in daily life somehow. 
• Or I might just put it back in the box to revisit in another seven years. 

To be honest I’ve only been doing this for about eight years in total so I’m not sure what happens next!

Pictures Of You

With the number 2s my rule is that I need to be a bit firmer. One of the aims of this system is to avoid keeping thousands of bits and pieces. It’s meant to be a system to help with memories not just organised annual hoarding!

The fact that I can’t instantly remember what these are indicates to me that they’re not really important enough to keep as ‘treasure’. So I will bin quite a few of the things in this category. 

But perhaps I’ll take a photo of them. If I do then I need to name the photos as descriptively as I can e.g. “2015 - ticket stub Ride gig Field Day Victoria Park Grav” and then I’ll upload them to Dropbox. I’ll tag them as well with a generic tag like “Memories”.

But then I bin the real thing. So it’s not taking up room anywhere but I do have a memory of it. And I can easily find it to revisit whenever I want. I can easily find them by searching for any of those terms or within the tags.

Last Goodbye

Everything that’s in category 3 just needs to be got rid of. Say one final goodbye to it. Did I ever tell you I’ve got a really great shredder? Crank it up and shred away.

This system might sound clunky or time consuming and for about one day of the year it is. I can afford that. The pay off is I get a thoroughly enjoyable annual nostalgia fest that I’m completely in charge of. Plus being able to enjoy a (slightly more) clutter free environment and have regular and easy access to lovely memories that I've really decided I want to keep.

Hit the comments and let me know what you think of this system. Or have you got one of your own? I always love to hear other people’s ideas.