Give A Little Respect
My father's biggest disappointment in life is that his only son prefers football over rugby league. God only knows he tried to persuade me otherwise but he had to admit defeat early on.
It's the round ball for me. To be honest I'm not sure that something that isn't round should really be allowed to be called a ball at all.
Hit The North
As kid in the late seventies and early eighties I was taken along to every northern city or town with a team playing in the rugby league championship.
Forty years later all those sides still trip off the tongue: Halifax, Warrington, Castleford, Leeds, Wakefield, Bradford, St Helens, Leigh and Widnes.
And because for years the division boasted both Hull FC and Hull KR, every season I went to Hull and back at least twice.
Most of the time it bored me rigid. Not Hull (Hull's amazing as everyone knows), I mean the games I watched. Well, that's not entirely true, I wasn't bored - the games just didn't hold my interest.
I mean it was alright. What can I say? The passion of the players and ferocity of the game were obvious and undeniable, but I'd still find myself drifting away.
I can't remember which ground it was at but I always wandered off to an open grassy area beyond the stadium and spent the 80 minutes catching grasshoppers.
I go to Wembley most years to watch the Rugby League Challenge Cup final but really I'm just attending so I can catch up with my dad for an afternoon without having to drive up to York.
You could say he's quite a fan. He's missed just one cup final in the last sixty years and that was only because he'd had a heart operation.
The final is being held at Tottenham Hotspurs' fancy new stadium this year so I'm looking forward to going more for the glittering building than the game.
So you can see that I'm quite indifferent to rugby league. Football is my thing and I'd always prefer a half decent game of football over any sort of rugby.
It's A Sin
But I have to admit there are a number of ways that rugby, both codes in fact, is much much better than football. It's all to do with how the game is run.
Rugby is always ahead with technical improvements. Rugby had VAR years before football and implemented it with a quarter of the fuss.
And football would benefit hugely from a 'sin bin'. A midway point for an offence that sits somewhere between a yellow card and a red card, where a player has to leave the pitch for just ten minutes.
It's a great idea and rugby has had this innovation since the 1980s while football is still thinking about it.
Most of all though rugby is light years ahead in terms of standards and accountability on the field.
During a game it goes like this: a foul is committed, the referee makes his decision and the players accept it. End of story.
The players respect the referee and accept his decision.
It's true that every now and again you'll get a rugby player who doesn't like the decision and will express his frustration. It is rare but it can happen and when it does two things tend to follow.
- the referee will immediately further penalise him and give a ten yard advantage to the opposing team
- the whinging player's teammates very quickly let him know what they think about that
As a consequence very few rugby players argue with the referee. The ones that do learn very quickly not to do it anymore.
Listen Up
Also, the referee is miked up as well, so the TV audience get to hear his reasoning in real time.
Compare all of that with football where the players complain madly about any and every little decision.
At the start of every season there's a tokenistic push for referees to be respected. There'll be some sort of rule announced that only the team captains are allowed to talk to the referee but every season these new ideas are quickly ignored.
Soon we are back to the ugly sight of groups of players surrounding the referee. They harangue the official and loudly pressure him to vote in their team's favour.
There is a marked difference in how the players from rugby and football treat the referee in charge of their game.
Rugby players show respect and recognise the authority and decision making. Footballers treat their referees with disdain and show a lack of respect.
This is not because all rugby players are great and all football players are idiots.
No, honestly, it really isn't.
They're all just a cross section of society. It's not about the people.
System Addict
It's about the system they find themselves in. And the people in charge of that system.
In football the agreed standards are not upheld. Players are protected from any negative consequences for their actions.
Poor behaviour is explained away as gamesmanship and justified as passion. If you're passionate enough to do anything to get an edge for your team that's a good thing right?
In rugby the agreed standards are upheld consistently and people are held accountable for their actions immediately. The respect shown is a natural consequence of consistently holding people accountable to agreed standards.
People usually think that it's about respect from players and that footballers are bad and that rugby players are good.
Okay, there might be a kernel of truth in there but if so that's because of the system and how it's been allowed to continue for years and years.
I sometimes refer to this rugby refs vs footy refs in my leadership training. In many ways the leaders of organisations are like the referees.
They're in charge of a large number of talented, passionate and unruly team players.
They get to have an overview of what's happening without necessarily doing those roles themselves.
They have the mandate and authority to keep the game flowing. To do this they need to enforce the regulations and ensure that everyone plays by the same rules.
If you're a leader you need to be a strong rugby ref and hold your staff to account. Be consistent and clear.
Show Me, Show Me, Show Me
Communicate your decisions and the reasons behind them. You don't need to go into massive detail. You need to explain that a decision has been taken, give the rationale and then communicate your expectations that the decision will be adhered to.
Get your team, your players, on board with the decision. As soon as you notice someone not following the rules or complaining about the decision you need to hold them to account. Show them that you mean business.
What's the equivalent of a yellow card or a ten yard penalty advantage? That's what you need to hand out. Show that you are in charge and you are taking charge. Be fast, be firm and explain your decision succinctly.
The opposite is to be a football referee.
With the honourable exception of the indefatigable Pierluigi Collina, pictured above, football referees are a wishy washy bunch.
They start off strong and get busy issuing yellow and red cards at the launch of the season. But slowly and surely they then overlook a few small discretions.
The odd niggle is ignored and soon they've got a full insurrection and a bunch of hysterical drama queens flouncing in their face.
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
If you're an employee choose to be a rugby player. Take it upon yourself to recognise the chain of command and respect the authority of the person in charge.
It's usually an authority that's been earned. Even if it hasn't they're still the person in charge and that needs to be respected.
Learn from them (for better and for worse!) and if you need to challenge them, wait until the 80 minutes is over and the full time whistle blown before approaching them. Communicate via the correct channels and make positive, proactive suggestions for improvement.
It's Twenty Five A Side
I'm writing this on Sunday afternoon just before Man Utd play Man City. Dreading it really. Utd are pretty terrible right now and so we could get thumped by Citeh.
Even worse is the fact that if we do pull a rabbit out of the hat and beat the noisy neighbours, then we're giving Liverpool a leg up and chance to snatch the League for themselves. Can't work out which is worse.
Anyway I'm off to watch Bruno Fernandes get away with screeching at Michael Oliver because a throw in didn't go his way and he really really really doesn't think it's fair.
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