Let It Go

If you have a problem that’s eating you up how do you let it go? No, this is nothing to do with Elsa or Anna. Or Sven the Reindeer. When something is really bothering you how do you let it go?

I’ll address this but first we’ll pop on our holiday spectacles and head out for a bike ride.

A while ago I touched on the possible majesty of a burned out caravan and how often I seemed to spot burned out vehicles while out on my bike. And hey presto, guess what I saw this week while riding up Reigate Hill.

“Now there’s majesty in a burned out motorbike.” Unless of course the joyriders nicked it from your front drive.

Running Up That Hill

Earlier on the ride, while I was slogging it up the steep Wingate Hill section (without the benefit of a motor) a young kid carrying a big stick waved it at me and shouted "Go! Go! Go!"

It was really encouraging. His mum looked proud.

The kid turned to his mum and sighed "But mummy, he's going so slow!"

Bloody no filter truth-telling kids!

Immediately, his mum and I were both crying. His mum with tears of laughter. My tears were a mixture of laughter and shame.

Anyway, while riding uphill, using the never to be admitted granny ring, I gradually passed a man who was chuntering loudly to himself.

I was going slowly enough to gather that he was very grumpy. He definitely wasn't on the phone. Just talking out loud in a very angry and animated manner. He was close to apoplectic and I felt for him.

Is It In My Head?

I don't know what his situation was but I do think there's sometimes a danger in talking to yourself too much. And if you don't think you do it, you do.

That's right, the little voice that just said "Well, I don't agree with that - it's not something I do" is you talking to yourself.

We all do it, but like I say there's a danger you can do it too much or in a way that's unhealthy.

It's probably unhealthy if you're speaking out loud. Or when you aren't just talking to yourself, you're actually arguing with yourself. Imagine if you're arguing with yourself and then you lose the argument! That's a moment to avoid. Let it go!

The truth though is that most of us catch ourselves doing it sometimes. Arguing out loud. It's more than rehearsing a difficult conversation - it's just airing a grievance. Usually pointless, especially about a situation that has already had its moment. And that made me think of today's top tip. Let it go.

Address a problem by all means and consider it fully to ensure there's an appropriate solution. But if you're not doing that then let it go.

Revisiting old wrongs just so you can put them right in your head doesn't achieve much. You're just reliving the pain and experiencing it all over again. Doesn't make a lot of sense does it?

Let it go.

Monk’s Dream

Two monks were travelling together through a forest. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As they were preparing to cross the river, they saw a young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

Because they had sworn a vow of chastity the younger monk ignored the woman and crossed the stream quickly on his own.

The older monk however turned to the woman, gathered her up in his arms and carried her across the river. He placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. As they continued their journey he was speechless, quietly seething as he replayed the scene over and over in his head.

'How could he dishonour our vow?' he thought to himself. 'If I’d done such a thing I would be rejected by the order.'

An hour passed without a word between them while the younger man became more and more angry in his thoughts.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could stand it no longer and blurted out “How could you do that? As monks, we have taken a vow. How could you then carry that woman?”

The older monk turned to him with kindness in his eyes and said, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river hours ago. I am no longer carrying her. Are you?”

Let It Go

I love this story. It perfectly encapsulates the righteous principled anger that can so often prevent us 'letting go' and also illustrates that it is 'okay' to move on, even if a transgression has occurred.

So who's annoyed you recently? Who's really upset the apple cart in your life?

And how is it affecting you? Or rather how are you letting it affect you?

Eleanor Roosevelt reportedly once said “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

We all have some degree of control over how we choose to feel about events. More control than we often care to exercise.

So look again at what you've been upset about. If you can do something about it, then do it. If you can't, then let it go.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to have a quiet talk with myself about what that kid with the stick said. Bloody cheek. ("Iain, let it go.")