There is a list of ideas compiled from themes I've been asked to write about and on that list is ‘how to complain’.
Well, as it happens, the ideal situation occurred for me to write about that this week.
In last week’s email I mentioned that I felt I'd been overcharged for an ice cream maker. The product in question was a Cuisinart ICE100BCU Professional Gelato and Ice Cream Maker. It's brilliant.
Welcome To The Machine
These things aren't cheap and I'd ummed and ahhed for a few years about taking the plunge. It's currently (as of 23rd Sept) selling on the John Lewis website for £250.
Half a monkey will keep you in Haagen Daaz for a good while before you start to break even making your own, so it was a purchase I considered well before taking the plunge.
A good few years ago I'd enjoyed making ice cream using a much simpler machine. In essence it was a bowl that you freeze overnight with a lid that is also a churning paddle. We used to plan in advance and freeze the bowl the day before making ice cream.
It worked pretty well for a couple of years but then for some reason just stopped freezing. Then it stopped churning effectively too. It just became a big cold bowl. Not that useful.
This new machine, however, is awesome. The ice cream freezes right from the off because it has a built-in industrial compressor. It works instantly and quietly. The ice cream it produces is smooth and creamy and ready in only forty five minutes.
That's half a game of footy. I've just realised I could set it going at half time and be scoffing chocolate chip ice cream by the final whistle.
So the machine is awesome but the buying experience was not so great.
They Call Me The Seeker
I had researched the machine, searching high and low until I found the one I wanted. I then looked around for the best price. Across the board it was £250.
That's a lot of money for a kitchen gadget but this year was my 50th birthday and so family were happy to chip in for what I wanted.
So I told the powers that be what I wanted and indicated the price to pay.
When they went to buy it, however, the thing was showing up at £300. That was a hefty chunk more than I had told them it should cost.
But my family are lovely and they knew this was the product I'd chosen so they added the extra and bought it for me.
A little after my birthday I became aware of the price difference. I was a bit disgruntled that it had risen so much and felt a little awkward. What to do though? Nothing really, caveat emptor and all that.
Then, when writing last week's top tips, I noticed that the price had reverted to £250! We’d paid an extra fifty quid for what reason exactly? I wasn't best pleased with this. So now what to do?
I complained. And in the space of five minutes I was refunded the £50 difference. Hurrah! Let’s celebrate. With ice cream.
Mustn't Grumble
This week’s Top Tips is about how to complain. There are a number of simple but important things to do to ensure your complaint is effective and has the best chance of getting a positive result.
1 - Do you have a case?
There’s a teenager not a million miles from me who just a few months ago complained that the train had left without her again! She was going to email the train driver to complain. Still cracks me up.
2 - Choose your battles.
"Is it worth it?" sang Robert Wyatt on his sublime cover of Shipbuilding. Not everything is.
I told you a while ago that I had a cracking time at the Taylor Hawkins Tribute concert. The grisly details of my tumultuous journey home, however, I declined to write about.
I thought I'd spare you the uglier details caused by a dodgy chicken burger from Wembley Stadium. It was a very clear case of food poisoning about which I was advised to complain.
Rightly or wrongly I decided not to. Feeling weak for days after, I just didn’t feel up to the task and I couldn’t properly remember the name of the outlet blah blah. Plus I didn’t really know what I would be asking for. See point 4.
3 - Clarify what your complaint actually is.
Tell them clearly what happened and why it is wrong. Stick to the relevant parts and be as factual as possible. Don’t go on and on about the irrelevancies or minute details that don’t add to creating a clear picture. Be clear and be concise.
4 - Be clear about your desired outcome.
After you’ve completed point 3 explain what you want to happen next. Too many complainants forget to do this and their words just become bluster. In order for somebody to do anything about your complaint they’ll need to know what you want to happen. If you want an apology then say so. If you want them to change their procedures or policy make sure they are aware of this. If you want money then ask for it.
If you do want cold hard cash then make sure you use the word ‘goodwill’ rather than ‘compensation’. I’ve been offered goodwill payments and told compensation is definitely not an option. I’ve come to the conclusion that it must be some sort of legal sticking point so ask for the former.
5 - Use the MADE model to ensure points 3 and 4 are in place.
This is a model of communication that follows four simple steps in sequence. I’ll put something together on the blog soon but for now I’ve found a pdf I wrote ages ago that you can download from here.
6 - Always be polite.
Demonstrate your passion and determination by all means, in fact you should. But. Don’t. Get. Mad. It can be infuriating but just stick to the task.
7 - Keep it impersonal.
Even when the topic is personal, stick to the facts. Don’t have a go at the person tasked with hearing your complaint. It’s not their fault. Escalate the procedure i.e. take it higher if you’re not satisfied with the person dealing with your case.
8 - Make it personal.
Ha ha, that’s the opposite to what I just said right? But what I mean is let them know how the situation made you feel. Don’t go on and on about it (see point 3) but if the situation upset you then share this information. Calmly and succinctly. I told John Lewis that the unexpected and arbitrary price hike made me feel embarrassed and put me in an awkward position with my family. That's enough, don't labour the point.
9 - Be persistent.
You might get fobbed off. Or given a template response. Or a reply that just doesn’t make sense. Don’t get upset just try again from a different angle.
10 - Go to the top.
If you’re not getting any joy and it needs sorting then write to the Chief Executive. Post a letter to them using all the above and on the envelope just underneath their name write ‘personal and private’.
I had an ongoing complaint via Twitter Direct Messages with Eurostar support staff who refused to engage in any meaningful way about a ticket kerfuffle they were refusing to honour. It was worth £318 and in error they had cancelled it. They wouldn't hear otherwise and refused to engage with the information I provided. After going round in circles for a while I simple wrote to the CEO.
I received a reply on behalf of good old Jacques Damas and was delighted to accept his apologies for my troubles and to learn that a voucher for £318, the full amount we were entitled to, had been issued. In addition to that the vouchers now had an extended date.
Jilted John
My complaint to John Lewis was brief. Here it is:
I feel that I have been unfairly overcharged. My family bought me an ice cream maker for my 50th birthday. At end of Aug I told them it was £248 as per your site. Purchased on 7th Sept costing £300! Today it is on your site for £248. Why was it £50 higher for the fortnight in which my family bought it?
I feel embarrassed because I knew that they were clubbing together and the amount they could afford was just right at £250. I've since learned that they needed to add in an extra fifty pounds because the price I told them was wrong. Yet, now I learn that the price has reverted to £248.95.
Where is the justification for you to hike a price for such a short amount of time? And it makes me suspicious because I shopped around and all the prices from other retailers were £250. My family tell me that when they looked all the prices were £300. And now they are all £250 again. What is going on where the price is hiked by 20% for just one fortnight?
Unfollow The Rules
If you look at my rules you’ll see I’ve followed most of them. But I didn't follow all of them. I didn’t explicitly explain what I wanted to happen. That would usually be a big error but this was on purpose.
John Lewis is a well respected company and I was hoping that they would offer a partial refund without me hopping up and down. They did.
If they hadn’t, however, I would have then suggested this course of action.
My complaint was a bit more emotive than I would usually recommend. A little bit more “Why oh why oh why?” “Won’t anybody think about the children!” than I’m normally comfortable with.
That’s because I felt that this particular company is very family values orientated. My family being, let’s face it, ripped off, didn’t fit with their stated values. I know that Never Knowingly Undersold has gone out of the window nevertheless it definitely didn’t sit right so I left it open for them to fill in the gaps.
John Lewis' response was immediate: an apology, an explanation of pricing models and a refund of the £50 difference.
I was very satisfied. Case closed. The penultimate step for me was to leave excellent feedback for the case handler. Always be polite.
The very final step of course is to churn some delicious vanilla ice cream this weekend and to serve it drizzled with Pedro Ximénez sherry. Trust me on this - it's awesome.
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