The Authentic You

A little while ago, in the middle of a training course I was delivering, one of the delegates asked me if I was from Manchester.

It took me a moment to understand why they were asking.

“Well, you mentioned Manchester United.”

Ah, yes. I had. This is not unusual.

“And you were talking about Noel Gallagher.”

True. And to be honest this also is not unusual. It may have happened more than once in the past.

“And you mentioned The Smiths.”

Oh, Manchester, So Much To Answer For

Yes, very true. Crikey. Three in a row. Getting a bit predictable right? She’d got me bang to rights. I felt like a one trick pony for sure and very narrow, geographically at least.

All my examples were from Manchester - Smiths, Oasis, Man Utd. 

Not only that, but I’d been referring to the all-conquering Utd teams of the 1990s. So all those references were at the very least twenty five years out of date!

It made me reflect for a minute about whether I should expand and update my repertoire of references.

Let’s consider this.

When I’m training to do a good job I need to be comfortable and comfortable is being the authentic me.

And being the authentic me is Smiths, Oasis, Man Utd. Lots of being nostalgic for the 90s basically.

Who Are You?

But not everything is from that narrow northwest nineties niche. Iain Smith is also mountain bikes, wine, guitar.  That sort of thing. 

Like all people there’s a few versions of me.

- Me is also being dad, sunny walks with Charlotte, meeting up with family and friends.

- Me is being on my own, reading Ian McEwan, Ian Rankin and Garcia Marquez. 

- Me is being as committed and driven as Tony Robbins but also too lazy to reach the remote and change the channel.

Lots of versions of me.

I think that a key component of any sort of wellbeing, and long term satisfaction, is knowing yourself. Embracing you and enjoying the you that you’ve decided on.

When Will You Accept Yourself?

Acceptance of who you are right now and also embracing the person you are slowly becoming as you evolve.

This is a key learning that I impress on organisational leaders. Especially new leaders.

As people rise through the ranks they tend to worry a bit too much about how they are seen. Perception is hugely important and needs to be considered because other people’s perception becomes their reality of how you’re seen. 

But even so, it’s not the most important thing. The most vital element of growing into your role is being authentic. Taking your experiences and learning and using it in the way that you feel comfortable. A way that fits with your values.

Sometimes The Clothes Do Not Make The Man

There’s a Headteacher I work with in Birmingham. Executive Headteacher actually, in charge of a growing federation of schools. His backstory is very inspiring. 

He started out as a Teaching Assistant, completed the training (whilst raising a young family on his own), qualified as a teacher, moved up through the ranks and is now in charge of everything.

When I was coaching him at the start of his Headship one of the main areas of concern was what he should be wearing.

“What does a Headteacher wear? I don’t feel that I look like a headteacher.”

There was a bit of imposter syndrome going on for sure. There was all that amazing, absolutely inspiring back story, where he’d driven himself to the top of a hugely demanding industry, and yet he didn’t feel the part because of clothes.

Sure, for any role there is often a kind of a uniform you might want to consider. A type of shorthand that lets people know what your role and rank is just by looking. But you’ve got to be comfortable in it. You’ve got to be able to own it.

I always focus on the idea of authenticity in all areas. So for clothes it’s a matter of asking yourself what you feel comfortable wearing. What’s the best version of you look like? 

If buying a certain type of jacket helps you feel comfortable and authentic in your new role then go for it. That’s authentic evolution.

Can You See The Real Me?

This week’s Top tip is to always be yourself, in whichever part of the cycle the current you finds yourself. Always aim to be comfortable in how you present yourself, both to others and to yourself.

Whether that’s the accent you have, the clothes you wear or the references you use. By being comfortable, you give yourself the best chance of being the best version of yourself. Of showing your true colours.

So, if you find yourself on a training course with me I’m afraid that there’s still going to be a high likelihood of at least one of the references being from the 1990s north west England. Mad fer it our kid. As you were. Sunshiiiiiine!