Tips For Clear Communication – Avoid Mix-Ups and Misunderstandings

If you’ve ever ended up in the wrong place at the right time—or the right place at the wrong time—then you’ll appreciate today’s top tip. Communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about being understood. And sometimes, that can mean the difference between watching Liam Gallagher headline a music festival… or listening to someone read The Gruffalo aloud in a tent.

In this top tip, I’m sharing a classic dad-prank that went down a storm (for me, at least), a few tales of everyday miscommunication, and a quick but powerful reminder of how to make sure your messages actually land. Whether you're dealing with teenagers, teammates, or just trying to arrange where to meet someone in a park, this one’s for you.

Not so long ago I managed to pull the wool over my daughter's eyes. I fooled her for just the smallest of moments but it was so worth it. Let me set the scene.

The Reading Festival has become one of those annual landmarks on the music calendar, still going strong with some of the best and hottest new bands. As well as Liam Gallagher.

For year 11 students finishing their GCSEs, heading to the Reading Festival has become a 'thing'. A hedonistic weekend of music and discovery on the outskirts of Slough has somehow become a rite of passage for sixteen-year-olds nationwide.

Ages ago I promised that I'd sort out tickets for my daughter and indeed dutifully did so.

At one point, there was still a bit of uncertainty around whether the festival would be happening, so she only started asking about it again once things were confirmed.

I took my chance.

Me: "Er yeah, about that. Bad news I'm afraid. I've been wondering how to tell you," I said. "I'm really sorry."
She: "What!?"
I told her that I'd messed up. Instead of booking tickets for The Reading Festival I'd accidentally bought her and her friend tickets for Booked: The Reading Festival.
She looked horrified.
Me: "It's Reading as in reading. Books. You know, reading books."
She: "What!?"
Me: "It's like an extended World Book Day. A weekend dedicated to the art of storytelling."
Her face was a picture.
Me: "I just Googled 'Book Reading Festival' and got the wrong one. Really sorry. Thought it seemed cheap. Should still be good fun though."

For the nanosecond she believed me the look of panic and horror on her face was priceless.
I love playing around with language (especially at the expense of my daughter!) but for situations where the stakes are high I take the absolute opposite approach.

Be excruciatingly, boringly clear and precise. Don't message via a text asking for tickets for a Festival. Ask for tickets to the Reading Music Festival at X address on Y date. And maybe take the extra effort to say the word out loud if there is room for confusion.

Okay, that's probably overkill but people can be so vague giving instructions. It drives me nuts. Especially when it's me!

Take meeting someone for instance. With vague directions for places it's usually because in their head they know exactly where they mean. They can picture the exact position.

Which means they find it difficult to imagine anyone else not knowing what they're imagining. They don't consider the alternatives their instructions might also be describing.

Let's run through a recent chat with daughter #2:
She: "Can you pick me up at the park?"
Me: "Sure. Where?"
She: "At the other end. Away from Morrisons."
Me: "There are two ends away from Morrisons. The lake end or the Bell Street end?"
She: "No, the other end where I meet Amy."
Me: "What?"
Them: "Where that little clump of trees is, just past the skateboard thing."
Me: "Gotcha."

There's a phrase in NLP that says "The Meaning of Your Communication is The Response You Get"
I take it to mean that communicating information is my responsibility. It's no good just saying something out loud and hoping the other person has heard me and got my meaning.

You could speak 'at' someone telling them the information you want them to know. But have they heard you? Have they understood you? Could there have been more than one meaning?

In coaching you use questioning techniques to get clients to repeat stuff back so you know what's been understood or not.

But that's not always easy to do outside of a coaching conversation. We often talk in socially agreed shorthand or metaphors.

When I taught English as a Foreign Language in the 1990s (when the Reading Festival used to be awesome) this was made apparent by the repeated need to carefully explain everyday instructions.
Phrases like 'jump on a call', 'pull a funny face' and 'catch the bus' were not to be taken literally.

There are plenty of real examples where poor communication has caused chaos.

The funniest ones are usually translations. Electrolux (a Swedish company) advertised their vacuum cleaner in the United States with the strapline: ‘Nothing sucks like an Electrolux’.

Then there are others with darker results. Fatal results. Derek Bentley's famously ambiguous cry of "Let him have it, Chris" ended in tragedy for so many.

A really good way of ensuring you fully understand what's going on or have communicated clearly is to QAC like a duck.

I wrote about that recently so won't repeat it here today but it's a simple and effective model to employ. I’ll link to that in the description below.

Whoever you're communicating with and however you're doing it, be clear, direct and unambiguous.
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And let me know in the comments—what’s your version of “I accidentally booked you into a book festival”?