Yes, And . . .

Like most people these days we’ve got a bunch of streaming services to watch TV. At various points we’ve enjoyed Prime, Netflix, Disney and Apple. 

We dip in and out of them, cancelling when they’re not being used and re-subscribing when a new film lands or decent series starts up

Right Here Right Now

At the moment we’ve got NOW TV Movies which is currently promoting the Jurassic Park series of films. The big new blockbuster is Jurassic World Dominion which, in my humble opinion, is not the franchise’s finest outing. 

I’m surprised to realise that it’s thirty years since the first movie came out. Seeing dinosaurs moving en masse in the original Jurassic Park was a proper film ‘moment’. It reminded me of being in Tanzania just the year before, watching the same slow movements of elephants and giraffes. It felt that real. 

Jurassic World: Dominion by contrast is a paint by numbers flick. It’s like a Jurassic Park greatest hits with as many Dino elements crammed in as possible, including both sets of stars from each of the ‘Park’ and ‘World’ films. That could have been fun but there are so many lead characters it feels like they’re just taking turns to deliver lines. 

It’s a dreadful film really. It’s got velociraptors in a high speed motorbike chase speeding through the narrow streets of Malta, with the terrible lizards skidding on the cobbles like they’re in a Tom and Jerry episode. It’s one of those films that when it ends you feel ashamed with yourself for sticking all the way through.

Too Sexy For My Shirt

What was more fun was a short promotional piece compiling Jurassic’s most iconic scenes. I did enjoy watching Sam Neill and Laura Dern reminiscing about the 1993 blockbuster. And hearing them gently mocking Jeff Goldblum’s open shirted attempt to ensure his bare chest got screen time. 

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard, the stars of the newer films, referenced an exhilarating scene from the second picture in the World series, where Chris Pratt’s character Owen Grady is in big trouble. 

He’s sprinting headlong down the steep side of an exploding volcano, trying to outrun the eruption, while also dealing with the combined peril of being crushed by huge boulders, scalded by spewing lava and stomped or chomped by fleeing dinosaurs. Oh, and avoiding dropping off the massive cliff edge at the bottom of the slope. 

Chris Pratt self deprecatingly describes his own action bravado and heroic downhill running speed. With a sardonic nod to camera he claims he was running so fast they clocked him at “sixty five miles per hour.”

Bryce Dallas Howard interjects, joining in with the fun, and asks “Wasn’t it seventy two?”

Pratt looks thoughtful. “Ah, yeah,” he agrees, nodding sagely. “It might have been seventy two.”

Play The Game

It’s a fun moment (more fun than the latest film) with the two actors willingly laughing at and puncturing Pratt’s action hero image. 

It also introduces for us a really useful technique that can be used in a number of ways to help you become more agreeable, more well liked and a better communicator. This same simple technique helps you to become more open to new ideas, accepting of new opportunities and a better team player.

I’ve been using it and teaching it for years, calling it ‘Accept The Pass’ but I learned recently it’s actually a proper thing and it’s called the ‘Yes, And’ rule.

Turns out it comes from the world of improvisational comedy where you accept and run with whatever someone else has said. 

Whatever they say you must follow up with agreement by saying “Yes, and . . .”

Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard obey this rule in that little exchange I described. You don’t need to literally use the exact words “Yes, and” and they don’t, but look at how they employ the rule.  

Chris Pratt’s joke about running at 65 miles per hour is obviously an untruth but Howard doesn’t call him out on it. She doesn’t say “Oh come on that’s ridiculous, it was never that fast” or “Really? Is that true?” either of which would have spoiled the joke. 

First of all she accepts it, agrees with it and then builds on it, expanding the knowingness and further exaggerating the joke. 

The two of them seem to get on well and have good rapport. I mean they’re actors so maybe they’re just pretending to like each other but it seemed that way to me. 

If they didn’t get on, however, then conceivably Pratt could have seen her 72mph line as stealing his joke and disagreed with her. But no, he keeps it going and after a comedy pause, uses the rule again, agrees with her and validates the comment.

I Got New Rules

That’s it. That’s the rule in action. Accepting the pass and running with it. Saying “Yes, and.”

You’ll see it in action in lots of places but mainly comedy where it is vital to keep the flow going.

If you’ve ever watched a panel show you’ll have seen it in action. Panelists won’t ever refuse the line that’s just gone by. What they do is pick it up and run with it. They build on it, saying “Yes, and . . .”

In her autobiography comedy goddess Tina Fey explains

The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you’re improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. 

So if we’re improvising and I say, "Freeze, I have a gun," and you say, "That’s not a gun. It’s your finger. You’re pointing your finger at me," our improvised scene has ground to a halt. 

But if I say, "Freeze, I have a gun!" and you say, "The gun I gave you for Christmas! You bastard!" then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is in fact a Christmas gun.

Start with a yes and build from there.

These Are Just The Rules And Regulations

It works really well in the real world in so many ways because automatically agreeing with someone validates them. You’re showing you’re a good listener and that the other person’s opinion has value. People will like you for that!

Accepting the pass gives you an opportunity to find out something new. You’ve agreed with someone else’s thought and now you’re going to have to be creative to make it go further. If you’re doing this as part of a team then this is good because you’re building something together. 

The opposite of this is obviously saying “No.” I’m pretty solution focused and so I find people who do this, especially as an automatic reflex, incredibly draining. Always blocking ideas and opportunities and draining the life out of possibilities. They end up in my mental ‘to be avoided’ box very quickly.

It doesn’t always work but I find as a rule saying “Yes” first is a great start. Don't even think about it, just agree and say yes. Especially when you don’t yet know how the ‘yes’ can happen. Ninety nine times out of a hundred, there’s always a way to make it work. Especially if you’re willing to search for the solution.

Often “Yes” on it’s own isn’t enough. It has to be “Yes, And.” Add something to firm up and build on the yes.

Some people offer up a “Yes, But.” Well, really this is just a disguised “No” and it’s always followed up with negativity. And it really is usually just negativity rather than a useful and considered “Yes, but have you forgotten there’s a crocodile in the river?”

Accepting the pass or the “Yes, And” rule is a really simple idea but can take a long time to adopt, especially if your current default model is to do the opposite.

Get It On

I’m sure you know certain people whose automatic response is to say no. They have an habitual reflex that means their initial action is to turn something down or reject it. They might consider whether it’s a good idea or not at a later point, but the moment may have already passed by then. 

So this weekend listen out for your own response to other people’s set up lines. Whether they’re jokes, ideas or opinions, try to determine what your standard response is. And if it’s not already “Yes, And” then have fun putting the rule into action.